You Told Him WHAT?

We bought a rug at HomeGoods. 

Steve and the rug manager took it out to the truck while I paid for it. I walk out to the sidewalk, and notice the manager is looking at me funny, and ThatManILove is saying, "She's recovering, though. We just have to watch her." 

I play into what I think is going on, saying "Yes. If I start twitching, it's past time for my drugs." The manager has this sickly smile, and a weird look on his face. 

We get in the car, my friend Becky and Steve laughing uncontrollably. 

Me: "What did you tell him, ThatManILove?" 

ThatManILove: I said, "You need to watch her. We go shopping with her, but we normally don't leave her unattended, especially to pay out for us. So you might want to make sure she paid. She's a recovering kleptomaniac."

And yes, the manager checked my receipt. 

It's never boring around here.

And you absolutely, positively cannot make this stuff up.

Bussssssstttted by the Barista

The other night, we ran through the Starbucks en route to Fort Worth.

ThatManILove pulled up to the speaker to order, and the barista begins to speak.

“Welcome to Starbucks! Would you like a vanilla spice latte? Or could I interest you in a caramel macchiato or a some madeline cookies?”

I might not have her spiel right, because I was laughing so hard at TMIL I couldn’t hear her.

You see, the entire time she was giving her little Welcome to Starbucks speech, he was wagging his head and mocking her. And it cracked me up.

And then, she said, “Don’t be wagging that head at me and making fun of me...you know I can see every move you make!” And then, she cracked up. We could hear all the baristas laughing in the store.

I wish I’d had a camera.

I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. ThatManILove got a kick out of it, too!