Hormonal and Hot Natured

Now, if that title didn't scare you away, you're freakin' bulletproof.

I pulled the weather report for this weekend.

Oh, yeah, it's time for our annual jaunt to Santa Fe for the New Mexico Oil and Gas Association boondoggle and conference.  Beautiful town.  Displaced oilfield people.  Reason to go to the mountains for the weekend...and see everyone you see every day in every oilfield town.  But everyone is smiling, taking time to loiter in art galleries, buying cool clothing and presents for home...

And it's fun, too!  Love the smell of pinon burning in the fireplaces.  The food, amazing!

But here, people?  HERE is what makes me so happy. Like, dancing in the street happy!   And I MIGHT get to wear a sweater!  WOOOOOT!

Menopause can go jump off a cliff, eyes wide open.

Don't be hatin'.

Pushup, Smushup

Oh, my Lord.

This morning, at 5 a.m., I went and met my personal trainer and did my evaluation. 

Or should I say, she did my evaluation.

I now know I am WAY out of shape.

I now know I have WAY too much body fat, even though I’ve lost 50 pounds.

I now know I don’t have half the flexibility I used to have.

I now know I can’t do one - 1 -  you know, like “three, two, one? - pronounced “won” - pushup.  One stinking pushup.

I thought a pushup was a bra type, dammit.

I now know I can’t do lunges, or squats, since I hurt my knee prior to the Alaska trip.

Nothing like a little self-realization to make you feel secure and good about yourself.

I might as well not go, right?  Right?  (C’mon, give me some affirmation here.  I only need one little excuse to quit - you know, before I even get really started?)

To her credit, she didn’t laugh at me every time I failed, or even make fun of how out of shape I am.  Thank God.

She did smile and say, “You’ll get better.” Which sounds an awful lot like:  “Bwahahahahahaha...I’m going to get you, my pretty!”

And hot?

Jumpin’ Jehosaphat, it was HOT in there.  At 5 in the morning!  HOT!!!

I’m on the treadmill.  And she’s pushing the incline up, doing my cardio evaluation.  I finally told her, “Hey, it’s hot in here.  I’m menopausal.  I threaten to CUT my husband when I get too hot. Just saying.”

She smiled, and turned on the oscillating fan.    Little does she know, in that one beautiful action, she may have well saved her sweet little life.  

It's never boring around here.

There's a Stranger In My House

On my husband’s one day off, leave it to me to take in a stray.

A stray, you say?  What, Janie, more engineering interns?

Nope.

A stray chocolate lab.  With no collar or tags.  Well kept, so I figured he belonged in the neighborhood.  Who looked grown, but who knew he was still but a pup?  Full of piss (literally) and vinegar, stout as a mule, and wanting to mount anything that moves.  Zack the Wonderdog, who, by the way told me in no uncertain terms to “rid the house of this intruder”, and Zanna the Wonderdog.  Neither of whom care to be mounted.  So we’ve had a few dog spats this afternoon, one of which was (gasp!) over me.  Zack wants this pup nowhere near his “momma”.

My dogs are not happy.

Neither is ThatManILove.

And said chocolate lab is marking everything outside.  So far, nothing inside, but I’m watching him like a hawk.

And, you know, he’s smart.  Very smart.  But he has that puppy brain right now.  The one that does something, gets chastised, stops, sit downs, pouts, and then...does it again.  And again.  Which is funny, but also sort of frustrating - especially when he’s not your dog!

So, yeah, I’m wondering, “Why did I open that door?”  And I’m not even going to write what ThatManILove is thinking...

But...he went with me and let me:

1. Go buy a crate
2. Buy flea/tick treatment
3. A collar
4. A new food bowl

 All of this was somewhat preventative, in case we have to foster this dog for  couple of days before we find his owner, but still, it’s pretty giving of TMIL.

We found out this dog can escape our outdoor professionally built kennel (and our dogs didn’t follow his lead, yeah!) and that he’s never been crated.  But he’s a quick learner.  He’s in his crate tonight, went straight to sleep, and Monday morning, we’ll take him to the vet and see if he’s microchipped.  I've posted him on Facebook and CraigsList and HomeAgain.  Hopefully, his peeps will show up and take his little rambunctious wagging butt home.

It’s never boring around here!

Anybody need a chocolate lab?

Catching Up

I’ve not posted because I’ve been in a sales conference most of the week.

Not that things haven’t happened, they have.

So here’s a random posting just to catch y’all up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s muggy here in San Antonio.

I am a hormonal, menopausal woman.

Heat and hormonal, menopausal women do not mix.

If you don’t believe me, get yo’ butt down here and watch me in action.

If ThatManILove even sees a trace of a bead of sweat above my lip, he tries to attack me...says, “Oh, honey, c’mere, I just gotta have a hug right now.”

He thinks it’s hilarious.  When he starts walking towards me and I’m in the throes of a hot flash, I swear my head rotates on my neck just like Reagan’s did in “The Exorcist.”

And still he persists.

He is pretty funny!

Did I say it’s muggy in San Antonio?

But at night, the weather has been lovely.  We’ve had some visitors while we’re here, and have met with some friends for dinner.

So far, a great time...and at the sales conference, I’ve met tons of my co-workers, which is also a great thing!

I’ll post some of the fun stuff in the next couple of days.

Happy trails ‘til then!

Anybody have a swimming pool filled with ice cubes?  If so, I'm in.  But I'm wearing my swimsuit.

Things I See on My Travels - Part 2

Y'all know me...I'm always looking for the cool and unusual.

I don't know if this qualifies, theoretically.  I hadn't even finished reading it when I experienced a hot flash in sympathy.

I hate that.

Whoever Designed This Sticker Never Experienced Menopause