And as I am wont to do when outside my little podunk town, I drove my little rental car to the closest Dillards.
A sweet one, it was. Way bigger than the Dillard’s in our town. Way more selection of cute clothes, guaranteed to turn ThatManILove’s eyes my way. (You know, whenever he does get to come home. Yeah. Mmmmmhmmmmm. ) And, who knew I would have just enough room left in my checked bag to pack 8 items of clothing and still be under the 50lb limit? Yahoooo!
But, I digress.
I never know where to park when I go to a store that size, though. And invariably, I end up parking in the housewares...or the suitcase section.
Yesterday, though, I entered the Dillard's door, and voila! There I was, in menswear.
And what did I happen to see, but Spanx. In the menswear section.
Yup.
Spanx for Men. AKA "Manx."
And I knew, with all my being, that indeed, God is a just, just God. Because, you see, I myself have been laughed at, nay, ridiculed numerous times while getting into my Spanx. Be it the tights, or the cami, or, God forbid, the slip, donning Spanx is always an accident waiting to happen. Well, at my house, anyway, and with me at the controls.
I cannot wait until ThatManILove discovers Spanx for Men.
Who knows? I may mail him a package anonymously.
He’ll just think it’s a t-shirt. Or underwear. (Yes, ladies and gents, they have both. And they are beautiful, beautiful things, indeed. Oh, yes, they are.)
Until that beautiful moment comes...you know, the one where he tries to put it on? Then, my friends, a new ThatJanieGirl video will surreptitiously appear across the internet.
Bwahahahahahahahahhhhhhh! Game on, indeed!
too funny! have never tried 'em, but worked with a woman who swore by them! :)
ReplyDeleteGirl. They are my bestest friend!
DeleteI have never tried the cami...Have the slip and plain hose and a pair of the textured tights. Love the stuff. And I agree, getting any of it on, is a challange. PULL, STUFF, and MORE PULLING....But boy, oh boy, it sure looks better under that sexy outfit....LOLOL OH, to be young again....NOT LOL
ReplyDeleteSpanx is all about looking better, no? Or pulled muscles. Or falling over when you're half in and half out of those tights. Oh, wait.
DeleteReading about your struggles in donning your spandex, reminded me of a calendar I once owned. Each month was a picture of an obese woman having difficulties dressing herself. My favorite one was this fat lady bent over trying to get this little girdle (remember those) pulled up, but her boob is stuck between her knee and the girdle. And stop it…I am not hinting that you are fat…or need a girdle…or that your boobs are…oh, forget it.
ReplyDeleteWell.
DeleteOf all the…correct images that are me!
I laugh everytime I put on a pair of Spanx tights. Seriously.
And then, I stare in wonder. How did all that, get in there, and look that good? DANNNNNG.
I am sure you left the store with some..you couldn't resist could you:)
ReplyDeleteI didn't! But I wish I would have. And I might order some just so I can film ThatManILove getting into them so y'all can see that guys, too, have issues with Spanx! hahahah!
DeleteSpanx? Sounds a bit risqué. Some S&M outfit, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteBeing a Bear, who is semi-hibernating, I cannot entirely make sense of all that.
Oh, and what's a Dillards? Ice cream shop, with donuts and wearables thrown in? Don't have those up here in Canada.
Dillards is like a Macy's, but much better wares. Well, I think, anyway. And some of them do have a cafe.
DeleteI think you'd look good in Spanx, Rob-bear!!
Hmmmm. Bear in Spanx? I think not. But I'll give it another though when I wake up.
DeleteSnoozebucket.
DeleteLOL ... about time!! :o)
ReplyDeleteI know, huh? SOOOO about time! ;)
DeleteI told my husband about these and he said it was all b*s*. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, spank me. ;)
ReplyDeleteBwahahahha! Nancy!!!
DeleteHilarious - Manx!
ReplyDeleteThe term is actually on their site! Love their advertising!
Deleteno way...sorry never going to be on my body...nancy your husband is right....seriously guys...come one...
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh….but Spanx feels good. You MIGHT like it. You might.
DeleteHe'll just think you got it in the wrong size, and toss it in the closet. Men are simple creatures.
ReplyDeleteI need to remember that, Scope. Men are simple creatures. Men are simple creatures...
DeleteOddly enough, I've been wondering about SPANX lately....But I would insist on buying the biggest size I could get so I won't be uncomfortable. I assume they come in XXXXXL
ReplyDeleteThey do come in bigger sizes…but if you get larger than you need, they ride up. Or down. Oh, whatever, YEEEEEEHAH!!! SpanxOn!
DeleteNone of this makes any sense to me as I don't know any of the names - which just gives my imagination the opportunity to work overtime creating possibilities!
ReplyDeleteBwahahahah! I bet! So, I call to Dave: A poem! A poem!!
DeleteOh, what they'll think of next!
ReplyDeleteThere is no telling, darling Rosaria! No telling at all!
Delete