A Little More Cracked

Damn you, cancer.

Michael and his Mom.

We lost my husband’s oldest living brother, Michael, last Monday night about 10:30 p.m.  My husband was by his side, as were his wife and children and another brother. I cannot imagine what they all felt that night.

ThatManILove immediately called me, sobbing.  My heart, already broken, broke some more, for my man and his family.  I know what it’s like to lose a brother.  Not fun.  Killer deal. And here I was, going through some bizarro rerun, though a little remotely.

Being the only family in our town at the time, I was sent to inform Michael’s mom of her son’s passing.

My friend Clara was still here, thank God, so she went with me to my Mom-in-love’s to give her the news at 11 p.m.. My heart? Broke completely as I held this small woman whom I’ve grown to love as a mom, and told her that her son hurt no more.  That her boy was gone. She sobbed.  I wept.  Clara wept.  

I know, I know. Death happens. 

For a mom to bury a child - it should not happen this way.  And it’s really hard when you’re a mom, to see not one, but two of your sons pass before you.  I remember watching my mom as my big brother passed.  I don’t really know what “the natural order” of things is, but this cannot be right.  It sucks.  It really sucks.

We buried Michael yesterday.  His beautiful wife and children put together the greatest video of photographs of his life, along with some of his most loved songs.  The service was standing room only.  This man, Michael, was an honorable man of great character and integrity.  A man who loved his family, above all else.

I want to be like Michael.  Heck, we all do. He was an amazing man.

I’m more than a little angry.  Perplexed.  Hurting, for those I love, who called this man Husband. Daddy. Pop-pop. Son. And Brother. I'm waiting and watching. Caring. Loving.

And I’m praying. Praying that healing will come, and please, Lord God, sooner than later.  And until then, that Love will dull, and soon remove, the sting of pain for all of those beautiful people that are Michael's loves.  


Happy trails, Mike.  Until we meet again.