Going To The Movies With Janie

NOTE:  I'm trying to import my old posts into the new blog.  Bear with me.  I'll try to skip the most boring of boring.  Promise.

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Today found me at our local theatre,  enjoying the movie “Up in the Air” with ThatManILove. Fun stuff, that!

Until....the urge came upon me.  Yes, that urge.  I had imbibed too much of my 1 liter Dasani water and had to crawl across my husband’s legs to make it to the ladies’ room.  We’re in Theatre 14, which means I have access to the least utilized bathroom - yahhh!

I go in.  It seems clean enough.  Onwards, I trudge, past stall 1, to stall 2.  (Wonder how many people do that?  I should probably go in stall 1, if it’s clean.)  I open the door, ready the place (which means I killed three trees lining the toilet seat with toilet paper, not that I even sit down on it) and do my business. I slide the latch with my elbow, and open the door with my foot.

All while counting.  Don’t ask me where that came from, I’m just trying to get out of there asap.  

I’m so ready to get out of there, I get to the main door and reach for the handle when I realize I’ve been so concentrating on getting out of there,  I’ve not yet washed my hands.  I turn, and run back to the sink, where for once in my life there is hot water and soap.  HALLELUJAH!  Can you sing Happy Birthday and still count?  I did it!

I wash my hands, and turn to the air dryers, still counting.  I turn on the air dryer with my elbow, and start drying my hands.

And then, I remember someone saying how more germs go through those air dryers than any other appliance. 

I start praying over the air dryers like I pray over my food...”Lord, please dry my hands to the nourishment of my body, and kill all those germs.”  Crap.  What number was I on?  Dang it!

Finally, my hands are dry enough.  I pull my hand into my hoodie, and open the bathroom door.  I feel like I’m a prisoner, been set free.

Lord help me.

If You Gotta Go, Take One Second to Clean Up After Yourself.

Two movies in two nights may be too much.

Or I drank too much water before, during, and after.

I found myself going to the bathroom.  Not once, but twice.

People - public restrooms are a must.  I try not to utilize them. But sometimes, I just have to, ya know??   But, people, it would be great if all of you decided you’d clean up a little after yourselves.  I mean, Lord have mercy!!!

I felt like I was in a movie myself, as I walked down the aisle of stalls.

Looked in the first one....unflushed...I just couldn't.  

Second - paper all over the floor...wet paper.  Ummm, no.

Third one - locked.

Fourth one  - open, looked somewhat clean, but don’t statistics say most people go in the fourth one?  SKIP.

Fifth one - dirty again, indescribable.

Sixth one - Handicap - I started limping and went in.

Where’s Mr. Clean when you need him?

Limp to sink.   Soap, soap, soap.  Turn on water - it’s freaking c.o.l.d.  Lather anyway.  Rinse.  Again, cold. 

Cold, I think, on purpose.

Hand air dryers?  S. L. O. W.  And not hot at all.

I left there with one thought, having gone through surgery and all.

Some type of instant self catheritization device that's sterile, and easily disposable.  Surely I can learn it, just for movies.  And it’s gotta spread less germs that the public restrooms at the movie house.


Don't make me go buy Depends, people.  Just clean up after yourselves in the public bathrooms.