Dex Saw The Light

Dex: Light? What light? I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

Me: Yeah, because light is all in the eye of the beholder. And your eyes are CLOSED.

Dex The Plant DogTer

I heard a noise.

A chewing of plastic-type noise.

One of those noises that brings me running.

I turn the corner, and I’m stopped in my tracks.

This is in my living room floor.

This.

This plant.

That probably weighs 10 lbs.

Dex has taken it off the planter stand, and brought it into the living room, a cool driveway’s length away, in. his.mouth.

Thank the Lord it is a purple dew plant, and is super hardy, and it needed thinning anyway.  I just stuck all the broken pieces in one of my garden planters and they’re thriving!

It’s never boring around here.

Mom! Get UP! It's Morning!!

These animals of mine.

They have no concept that it.is.Saturday.

My day of partial rest.

The one day I don’t have to get up out of bed at 5:30 a.m.

So, they’re up and at ‘em, time to go outside, let’s go, Mom.  Can we have a treat, Mom?

Come look at the birds, Mom! Oh, look, a squirrel, Mom!

Okay, we’ll come back to bed, Mom, for exactly 46 minutes.

(46 minutes and 2 seconds later)

Mom!  Wake up!  We must go outside now!  Because…we hear birds!  That means it’s morning and time to get up! Let’s go outside!  The squirrels!  Dogs are walking their humans!  C’mon, mom!

What do you mean we’ve already been outside?  We just got up, we’ve been asleep with you? Don’t you remember? It’s a brand new day!! Can we have a treat, Mom? Come look at the birds, Mom! Oh, look, a squirrel, Mom!

Okay, we’ll come to bed, Mom.

Can we bring our treats?

It's never boring around here.

Snuggle Buggle Dex The German Shorthair

Classic GSP love...all this sweetness and sugar makes up for AllTheCrazinessThatIsDex.  #gspsrock #becauseDex#whenyouleastexpectithehastosnuggle

Do WHAT?

This morning, I was getting ready for work.  And then, I heard this:

"Dex!  Get off that table!"

This Wonderdog of ours.  It's never boring around here!

Beautiful Weekend Morning

It's a beautiful morning.

The temperature is about 70 degrees.  There's a slight breeze.

The birds are singing.  

My day is complete I have seen a hummingbird.  I see a few weeds that need plucking in a flowerbed.  I need to go to that before it gets hot.

And...ooooooof.  Hang on for a second...

Forget about the weeds.  I'm going to be stuck in this chair for a bit.

Baby Huey Dex The Wonder Rescue needs some loving.

It's never boring around here.

It's 5 a.m. It's Dark...And So Is Dex.

ThatManILove left early Tuesday morning to go out of town.

Like at 4 a.m.

And Dex the Wonder Rescue wanted to go outside.

We don’t let him go outside at 4 a.m., because the sprinklers are set for 4 a.m.  And he is more than a little sprinkler crazy.   He’s killed them more than once.  (He’s a little mixed up for a hunting dog.  The closest thing I can get to is that he thinks they sound like a rattlesnake when the water first starts to go through them.  But, I digress.)

So, a little after 5 a.m., when I’m sure the sprinklers have finished their run, I finally acquiesce.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

I’m stepping into the shower when I hear this crazy, shrieking, kind of screaming bark.  What’s so funny is that I recognize it.  It’s Dex.  We call it “His Injustice Bark.”

It's the one Dex uses when there is something he wants, really badly, and he just cannot have it.  Or reach it.  Or Zanna just.won’t.give.it.to.him. 

That kind of bark.  And we live really close to the neighbors.  Who are going to think somebody might be dying. 

And Zanna's not even outside.

Zanna?  Is in the bed under the covers.

I get chill bumps.  The kind that run up the back of your neck.  Then down your arms.

Yeah.  Those.

I run outside.  But it’s dark.  And I can’t see.

So I don’t know if it’s a skunk. (God, I hope not.) Or a fox. Or a snake.  Or what.  I have no clue.

I go to the kennel.  I can hear him, but I can’t see him. 

I run inside to get a flashlight.

I did tell y’all I’m in my pajamas, right?  No shoes?

I grab the flashlight, and head back outside.  I head to the kennel.  Again, I can hear him, he’s rattling the kennel, but I can’t see him. 

I shine the light that way.  No Dex.

I shine the light inside the kennel. No Dex. 

I can hear him.  And the kennel is shaking like there’s an earthquake.   I think, oh, no – he’s inbetween the kennel and the fence.

Nope. No Dex.

And then…something moves to my right.  Right beside my head.

Y’all, our kennel is 8’ tall with the cement footer.

I jump back.

I shine the flashlight up there. I look.  I look again.

DEX IS UP ON TOP OF THE KENNEL.

And all that is on top of the kennel is netting.  And a 60+ lb. German Shorthair.

Needless to say, the kennel is quickly is losing integrity and quickly folding in on itself, because the netting is zip-tied to the sides of the kennel.

I try to get him to the edge of the kennel, but the netting is giving way.

I grab a lawn chair, stand up on it, and try to entice him to the side.

He gets to the side, puts his paws on the bar, and looks down at me, then at the ground.  He looks at me like, “Are you KIDDING ME, MOM????”  and backs away from the edge.

I’m praying.  Hard.  And thinking.

“Want a treat, Dex?”

Here he comes again.  I grab his collar.

Then, I think.  Ruh-roh...If he comes right at me, I could really get hurt.  We could both go over in this chair.

Or he could take me down to the ground.

Oh, no!  Here he comes!

Dex launches off the railing.  He sails over my head.

He lands without incident, trots around my chair, and heads back to the kennel.  I got down from the chair, grabbed his collar, and somehow got him back into the house.

I didn’t kill him.  He didn’t kill me.

The kennel, though leaning and seriously damaged, is still standing.

I have zero idea how Dex climbed up there.  He was one small step from walking over the fence to freedom.  One step from getting into the wires that are hooked to the telephone pole.

Y’all want to know what he was barking and yelping about?

Itty bitty geckos.

Yup.

Lizards, y’all.

LIZARDS.

It’s never boring around here.