Boots and Must Have Accessories - Part 1

Who, seriously, doesn’t love boots?  Men, women, who cares, we all LOVE boots!

As you can see, I do.

So I wanted to introduce you to my two newest boot accessories.

This...is not a toy.

This...is serious business.

Because, I have large calves.

This tool helps me buy regular boots of superb quality (on sale) and stretch the calves a little bit.  (Okay, quite a lot.)

It looks wicked, doesn't it?  I saw this little tool one day at Merry Marketplace, where one of the vendors was putting it to use on a pair of $800 boots.  I was all in her business, asking her about that tool.  I decided right there and then I was going to get not one, but two.  TWO boot stretchers.

Now, far be it from me to buy a pair of $800 boots (well, maybe someday), but I have been known to thrown down a couple of hundred on a half price pair!

I’m NOT stupid, people.  Leather boots are an investment.

Here’s how that little tool works.

You wet the inside of the boot with a spray bottle (I used RO water).

You insert the tool into the leather boot. (Make sure you loosen any buckles.) The spreader has two parts - one, to spread the ankle, and one to spread the upper part of the boot.  

And you turn it to the right.  The spreader stretches the leather.

Takes about 5 minutes a boot.

And voila, they fit...just right!

(Stay tuned for part 2…it will be worth it!)

I Need To Video These Wonderdogs

So.  Happy Valentine's Day, Y'all!

And speaking of Valentines….

ThatManILove swears, that when he’s out of town, he comes in, and Zack the Wonderdog raises his sweet little doggy head up from ThatManILove’s pillow, and looks at him like, “What?  You were gone, I am here, possession is 9/10ths of the law.”

ThatManILove shakes his head, shushes Zack out of the bed, and reclaims his lawful place in the bed.

Well...

ThatManILove has been known to go to the back yard, pull a cushioned chair out into the yard, and just nap in the winter sun.

This past weekend, I decided a little fresh air would do me good, so I went out on the back porch, with a blanket, my computer, my iPhone, and a bottle of water.

And what to my wondering eyes did appear, but Zack.

Zack the Wonderdog.

Who promptly walked quietly up to ThatManILove’s favorite chair, and stepped up into it, and curled up.

Oh, yes, he did.

He cracks me up.  I had to take quick pictures, because I knew ThatManILove would never believe it.

Fruitfly Wonderdogs

One Sunday afternoon, I decided to sit on the back porch to blog and write in my journal.

I had been feeling funky (allergies were kicking my proverbial butt, and my real one, too!) but thought I just needed some “outside time.”

Out I went, in my pajamas.  I grabbed a blankie, my iPhone, my MacBook.  ThatManILove had brought me a chai tea latte.

I was set.

And then, something I read flung a craving upon me...for an orange.

I unwrap, pad into the kitchen, grab an orange.  Peel it.  

I look down.

Zack is drooling, Zanna looking all expectant.

Yup.  

I pad back to my chair.  Wrap all back up in my blankie.  Computer on my lap.  Get all set.

I look left of my chair, where I am so wonderfully ensconced.
Zack is drooling, Zanna looking all expectant.  Again.  What part of this did they not get?  Grrrrrrrr.

It turns out that they’re orange-tarians.

But at least they sit while they’re getting their treats.

I lost a full half of my orange to them.  My weirdo, fruitfly dogs.

And I Do Not Lie...

I get these spam post comments all the time.

And sometimes, I get the religious stalker spam comments.

When I opened up my email, and looked down and saw this, I laughed out loud.  Really, I did.  Not just the “lol”.  But the real, honest to goodness, laugh out loud deal that real people really used to do.

Because, peeps, I’ve already got this one faded.

The Bigger Butts part, anyway.

Not only faded, but straining at the seams.


That is all.

Have a good day.

Snoozebuckets Galore - Janie Down

Yup.

I didn't feel good at all this weekend.

And ThatManILove decided to show you a shot of his life from his perspective.  Snoozy Saturday morning.  These allergies, and the accompanying meds,
 are kicking my butt.

The Little Horse That Would Not & Happy Birthday To My Son

Today is my oldest son's 32nd birthday.  I was going back and looking at his pictures, trying to figure out how best to commemorate his birthday.

And I found this story from 2009, on my old blog.  It's funny enough, I'm going to share it again.

So, Happy Birthday, son.  Thanks for all the laughter!  You're one of the funniest people I know.  I love you!!

This morning, my phone rang. It was Elder Son, though I could barely understand him.

ES: Mom.

Me: Yeah, babe?

ES: Mom, I had to ...call you. (He’s hesitating, sounds like he’s crying.)

Me: What’s up? Is SOMETHING WRONG????

(I can hear all this snuffling, and scuffing around, and some type of weird guttural noise.)

ES: Jason and I are having to load these little...(more snuffling, weird sounds) miniature horses that Jason’s granddad bought for Jason’s kids at the livestock auction, and...and...(mumbles off into nowhere, and I can hear him laughing and trying to catch his breath.)

(I can hear Jason laughing out loud.)

Me: What? What's going on?

ES: Well, Mom, it’s just that.....(fades into laughter again. He finally composes himself)...we got all the horses loaded except for...(and off he goes again) except for this (Jason laughing his butt off in the background)

Me: (I start laughing, too.) Tell me! Finish your sentence!

Now, I ask you, how stupid is that, that I start laughing? I can’t even see them, I don’t even know what’s happening. But I can imagine. Jason isn’t a tall guy, but Elder Son tops out well over 6' - he's one tall lean bean. And a miniature horse, much less 7-8 of them? Just the visuals are funny!

Me: Elder Son! Finish, please?

ES: Mom....I can’t....it’s just that, I’m really trying...okay, give me a second....okay....we’ve been trying...trying to...(and he dissolves into man giggles again.)

I just sit there, grinning like a cheshire cat. I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s going to be good. It’s gonna be one of those worth the wait ones. I wait.

He finally calms down a little bit.

ES: Mom, we’ve got all these teeny horses loaded in this honking huge trailer, ( and they're laughing again, they’re losing their voices)...(they finally catch their breath and ES resumes) except for (bustin’ gut laughs now) the little stallion. (And he cracks up again.)

Me: The what?

ES: The stud miniature horse, Mom. He’s a stubborn little &*O(^)%(&.

Me: Oh, Lordy me (I really started laughing now)!

ES: Oh, Mom, we are so frustrated. We tried to herd him up with the rest of the horses. He’d get halfway up the ramp, which is really short to the ground, then fall off. He’d just tip over. He’s really fat. We’d start again - he’d back down the ramp. He did not want to go. Then, we tried to lead him up. No go. Then, I led and Jase pushed. That didn’t work. So, Jase led, and I pushed. (Laughter. Then escalating laughter.)That didn’t work, either.

And now, Mom, the horse is mad. He’s snorting at us and pawing at us - it is so funny, the little thing!(Uncontrollable laughing from both he and Jase.)

(By now, tears are running down my face and I’m having trouble breathing!)

And then, Mom....(giggles)....I finally got so frustrated I tried to pick the little b*st*rd up and throw him in the trailer. (huge laughter.)

Me: What? You tried to pick him up?

ES: Yessssssssss...(fades into sputters and they’re off again, laughing hard!.)

Me: Did it work?

ES: Hell, no, Mom, it didn’t work (and they crack up into laughter again), he weighs 400 pounds and he was thrashing around and trying to get away!

Me: Oh, Lordy.

ES: I gotta go, Mom, we gotta figure this out, I just had to call you.

And he hangs up laughing.

I talked to him this morning. They finally got the little stud horse loaded into the trailer. Elder Son and Jason physically picked up the horse, together, and stuffed him in the trailer.

Elder Son is still laughing.

Me, too!

I Hope You're Having A Great Day…..ACHOOOO!!!

Allergies are kicking my butt.

I’m having to do a sinus cleanse morning and evening.

And then, nose spray.

And allergy shots, twice a week, my arms feel like pincushions sometimes.

Frustrating.

I’m working hard to follow doctor’s orders.

I’m ready for the “system” to kick in and start working.

Meanwhile?  I’m gonna buy stock in Puffs Tissue.

Sherlock - aka ThatManILove - And The Wonderdogs

The dogs were rather destructive today.  Well, for 10 minutes of the day, anyway.

ThatManILove promised me he'd get to the bottom of the mystery.

Just call him Sherlock. (Video here)

I will tell you who Thurber is in another story.

Huggery

We learned in our training this weekend that hugs are important.  

Eminent US family therapist, Virginia Satir, regularly made a startling claim:

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

Well, I told ThatManILove that every statement, and every day, we’re trying to give/get 12 hugs from each other.

Day 1?  We rocked the casbah.  Laughed every time.

Day 2?   We got all 12 in, again.  

Day 3?  I think we had hugged twice, so far, by evening.  Our day, yesterday, went kind of crazy.  He got up with me at 4:30 a.m., and went to the gym with me.   It had been a rough day on each of us, individually.  Lots of meetings, etc., super different schedules.  So, again, by 7:30 p.m., two hugs - not even enough for survival, according to Satir. We had a bunch of catching up to do, and ended up making a concerted effort to get all of our hugs in for the day!  And...it helped us have a really good healthy conversation, too, about some stuff we needed to resolve.  I’m liking this hugging stuff!

But really, it’s kind of become a game. We’ve hugged good morning, we’ve hugged good night.  We’ve even hugged in the middle of a conflict.  I may have to invent a meter for measuring hugs.  Think that will work?

So...today is Day 4.  As soon as we get home from the gym, I’m going to try to snag four or five hugs...so we can get a head start on the hug-o-meter for the day.

I love Hagen's cartoons!!

So, go!  Hug somebody!!

Holy I Wanna Be Me - I Find Out I Might Just Have A Life of My Own

So...this past weekend, I went on a retreat.

It was an organized retreat, but I went by myself.

ThatManILove was on another retreat, put on by the same people.

We didn’t see each other for three days.

I did see...myself.  Well, a glimpse of myself.  A little glimmer of who I might want to be…and that would be ME.

I found out that I was kinda living my life...maybe, mostly, for everyone else.  And just a little bit for me.  My husband had been telling me…"Babe.  We need to take time for us."  "Babe…let's make a deal - no Salvation Army this week, okay?" (Which means no charity work, no giving it all for my friends, etc.)

Though in my knower, I KNEW that...because I’m exhausted all the time, and really take no time just for me, it also came as a shocker in a way.

Does that make any sense at all?

So.  Without even realizing it, I’ve just completed one of my goals, as it were, for the new year 2013.

And that goal was to open up a bit more about myself ON THIS BLOG, and not always be The Entertainer.

To walk in the truth as much as I can, and be a little more transparent to you, my gentle, funny readers.

In this weekend retreat, I also had a lot of fun.  I laughed so hard.  I cried, even harder. I danced.  I shouted.  I made a ton of friends, maybe even some new family.

Oh, don’t worry, all the stories I tell daily are true...you ARE truly walking down the trail of Mi Vida Loca with ThatManILove and myself.  I mean, I couldn't make this shit up.  No way, no how.  I'm not that creative!!

But...I don’t often get down deep.  You see me, but maybe, you don't see all of me.

Who knows?  You might see a little more of that deep stuff, healthily mixed in with the “It’s Never Boring Around Here!” posts.

Allrighty, then.  I’ve got some homework to do for the next portion of this retreat, so I'd best get to it.

Have a good day today, y’all...and thanks for sticking with me while I was AWOL for the last 5 days!

xoxoxoxoxoxo and Happy Trails to you, until we meet again.  Yeah.  Like tomorrow.  You poor thing!  

Thoughtful Tuesday - ThatManILove Partayyyyy Like A Rockstar

ThatManILove, driving me home from my retreat this weekend.  Trying to be quiet to give me
some peace so I can rest.  Then, forgetting he has on headphones and singing out loud anyway.

God, I love him.

Outback Networks Their Answering Machines? What D'ya Say, Mate?

The other night, I called Outback to place a “takeaway” order.

The recording, after going through so much sales spiel, said the restaurant was closed.

It’s Tuesday night.  I know that’s not right.  Outback is our takeaway place of choice.  You can eat pretty healthy there.
Salad, veggies, split a steak and we're good.  And I dang sure know their schedules.

So, I drive up there.

I park in the “takeaway” parking spaces.  There are no cars in the spaces.  Zero.  Weirdness.  You usually have to wait for a takeaway ordering car to move so you can park. It's a great restaurant, with great take-out food.

I wait a minute, and decide to write down my order, and take it in.

I walk in to the order station.  There's a customer standing there, one that's a polo player.  Or polo horse owner, anyway. I can't remember his name, but I've met him.  I say hello.

I tell the young lady working, “I tried to call in, but your machine says you’re closed.”

She says, “Yes, I know.”

Me:  “You know?”
Her:  “Well, our manager knows.  He doesn’t know how to fix it.”
Me:  “Really?”
Her:  “Yes.  It’s going on at Outbacks all over the country.”
Me:  “Really?”
Her:  “Yes.  Our answering machines are all networked, so when one Outback is closed, they’re all messed up - the machines all say they're closed.”
Me:  “Really?”

This customer, I'll call him Mr. Polo, standing beside me, is shaking his head “Yes.”  Like he knows, too. Or, maybe, he’s heard the drill, already.

Me:  “You know, I don’t think that’s the case.”
Her:  “Why not?”
Me:  “Because your answering machine notes that this is the Loop 250 location.”

Her:  “What?”
Me:  “Your answering machine says this is the Loop 250 location of Outback, in Midland, Texas.”

Her:  speechless
Mr. Polo:  Looks at me, nodding “Yes.”  Again.
Me:  “You might want to let your manager know that.  Okay?”  

I sweetly give her my hand-written order, smile, and go to the car to wait.  

I’ve still not figured out what the heck Mr. Polo knew that I didn’t.

And I don't think anyone spit in our food.

Or that's my story anyway - and I'm sticking to it, Mate.

Silent Sunday….going down

Imagine a photograph here.
It is very pleasing to the eye.
Because  I love to post photographs on Silent Sunday.
However, Blogspot is having a problem.
No photos will upload for ThatJanieGirl.
God bless Blogspot.
And God bless you!!

Manana, senors y senoras!


ThatJanieGirl

My Cajun German Shorthair, Zack

Zack is a Cajun dog.

He comes from a long line of German Shorthairs, but when it comes to things of a culinary persuasion, he’s a Cajun.

I know.

I caught him.

Again.

Stealing.  Trying to break and enter.

Trying to break and enter into my ONLY precious box of Community Tea.   That my friend, Connie, arranges with her friend, Raymond, to bring in from Louisiana.  I would have been down for the count until their next scheduled shipment of contraband. (Why don’t they sell that here in Midland, Texas?)

The twerp.

I heard him.  Zanna, perched atop the brown comforter, went all alert.

First clue.

Then, I heard another noise.  Like a box.  Cellophane.  Snap, crackle, pop.

Zanna went more alert, and poised her body for instant takeoff.

I decided to beat her to it.

I rounded the corner, and voila.

Zack had taken the brand new box of Community Tea bags, off the wayyyy back of the kitchen counter, still wrapped in cellophane, and was trying to break and enter.

That, my fellow dog lovers and/or readers, would have been a holy mess.

Thank God I caught him.

What the heck???

He ALMOST had it faded, the twerp.

Open Sesame

ThatManILove cracks me up.

He’s a gourmet cook.

He can throw anything together and it is a.m.a.z.i.n.g.  Seriously amazing.

See?  Like this.  Omelets...and fresh veggies.  Breakfast.  Yum.

I will hear beeping.

I know, without looking, what it might be,  but there’s this thing in me that makes me go look to see what is up.

The beeping is usually the sound that means the refrigerator is open.

Wide open.

Plus the fact that ThatManILove is cooking.  Simultaneously. With the refrigerator doors wide open.

Check it out.

The dishwasher...open.

The refrigerator...open.

Almost every top cabinet in the kitchen...open.

It’s just how he does it.

He cracks me up.  He thinks it's funny that I think it's funny.

I love him.

By the way, breakfast was awesome...and awesomely healthy.

Yummmmm.