They're Gonna Live - All Three of Them

After a couple of rough days and nights, and vet visits,  Zack the Wonderdog is way better.

Unfortunately, Zanna followed suit and had exactly the same symptoms.  Fortunately, we had her at the vet a day earlier and on treatment, so her symptoms haven't been as rough as those of Zack.  Plus, she's younger.

I found out she was sick in the early morning hours, as I readied myself for work.  She was curled up under the covers, and I was traversing the house in the dark when I slid upon the evidence on the rug in the living room.  Ugh.

The second time, in the dark hallway, an hour later, I had to be rescued by ThatManILove at 6 a.m.  Yes, the same ThatManILove that took his darn.sweet.time.getting.to.me.with.wet.wipes. 
You know, because he was overcome by such a bad case of the giggles and snorts.

He got there in the nick of time.  I was seriously considering running for my shotgun, stinky feet and all.

GRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSS.

Bbbbbbbbusted...By An IPhone App - And Starbucks

I guess ThatManILove can tell when I get coffee.  

Even when I'm in the PA.

Thoughtful Tuesday - ThatManILove Partayyyyy Like A Rockstar

ThatManILove, driving me home from my retreat this weekend.  Trying to be quiet to give me
some peace so I can rest.  Then, forgetting he has on headphones and singing out loud anyway.

God, I love him.

Not Another Vegetarian Post

This past Sunday, ThatManILove decided to make us omelets.

He had stopped by our local H.E.B. the night before to freshen our supply of veggies and fruits. We really are trying to eat better and make healthier choices.

(All in line with the dreaded diet, where’s he’s dropping weight like an anvil from a 30 story building, and I’m flat-lining the scale.  But, I digress.)

So, he comes in with these eggs.

Really?

People, seriously?

Vegetarian eggs?

Is that like vegetarian beef?

What the heck?

And then, he told me that, irregardless of the packaging, he swears the Horizon cattle are vegetarians, as well, so this Mexican cheese is all veggie cheese.  Okay, he did that tongue-in-cheek. He knows better.

Is this a marketing ploy?   If so, they’re probably raking in the bucks.

But you know, I’ve got just enough common sense and country in me to know that there are no vegetarian eggs.

Please, tell me, the average consumers aren’t that stupid.

Please.

Zanna the Weirdo Wonderdog

ThatManILove goes and gets us lunch.  We eat, and plan the rest of our weekend.

Neither of us are feeling quite up to par, but we’re way better than we were.

I go hop on the bed, thinking of a quick nap.  ThatManILove comes to tell me he’s going to hop in a chair outside, in the shady sunlight, and snooze a bit.

Zanna the Wonderdog pops up on the bed, and settles down...all the while, licking her chops.

A sure sign she’s been into something good.

ThatManILove looks at me, and I look at him, both of us wondering, “Oh, Lord. What now?”

He looks at me again, then turns and goes and looks around.  He can find nothing.

He comes back, and looks at Zanna.  She tilts her head at him, like, “What?  I did NOTHING, I tell you, NOTHING.”

He begins her dialogue, for her, as he usually does.

“Dad, why are you looking at me like that?  I didn’t do anything. I was just licking my chops, relishing the zest of Life.  That is all. Life.  It’s a good thing.”

It can get weird around here.

Zanna the Weirdo Wonderdog With Her Crossed Little Feet

Zanna the Wonderdog (Shredder)

Zanna’s been at it again.

Shredding, that is.

Not on a skateboard, as you might think.

The spotted wondergirl loves to shred anything ThatManILove.  She loves his smell, and attacks his clothes thatmighthavebeenleftlayingaround at the first chance she gets.

This time, one of his favorite sleeping shirts met its demise.

And somehow, it got laundered and hung up anyway.  It doesn't matter how gaping the hole. It's a shirt, so it must be hung up.   Don’t ask.   

Not A Small Competition

ThatManILove and I have been on the same diet for 10 days.  

He has lost 13 lbs in the same time that I’ve lost hardly anything.  We’ve been eating the exact same meals.  

I’m working out. I’m working out every other day, but I just finished 10 days for 10 days of working out daily.

He’s not. He’s not working out AT ALL.

This morning, he said, “Babe.  You’re losing inches, I can see it.”

I just looked at him.

He said: “Okay.  Maybe you’re just gaining brain cells.”

If he dies by my hand, will y’all please hire me the best lawyer ever?

I’m a dang good shot.  The guys around here tease me about being Annie Oakley.

I was so distressed when he gave me his weight report this morning.

You know what the twerp did?

He went and got dressed.  Put on a heavy vest.  Then, his heavy wool coat.

And then he weighed.

He says, just to make me feel better.

It didn’t work.

Maybe I should just sit on him.

Baby Needs Her Sleep

Monday evening, ThatManILove arrived home from a weekend retreat.

I picked him up, and we went to Outback to eat, and run some errands.  

When we got home, we got ready for bed, talked, and I started trying to go to sleep.  He was playing some gambling game on his iPad, and laughing at his fellow gamblers, trashtalking.

It was cute and I got a little tickled, listening to him as he told me what they were all saying.

And then, my OTC sleep meds kicked in.  And if I get past that “go to sleep” threshold, I won’t sleep all night.

He was trying to be quiet, but they were pretty funny.

Me:  Babe, please let me sleep.  I’ve not been sleeping well since you’ve been gone, and what with 5 a.m. workouts, I’m exhausted.

Him: Sorry, babe.  I know.  (and then...Giggle. Snort.)

Me:  I do have a glass of water over here, I’m not afraid to use it.  

Him:  (Laughing) I’ll be good, and quiet, I promise.

I’m asleep, and I’m awakened by ThatManILove, again.  This time, he has gone into the kitchen for something, and made some noise.

Me:  Baaaaaaaabe.  Please?

He gets Him:  Oh, babe, I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize you were asleep yet. (as he pats my arm)

Me:  Will you scoot over here beside me?  I'm cold.

He does.  Well, his foot does, and he's trying to tickle me with it and not lose his place in his game.  I get more aggravated with him.

Him:  I'm sorry, babe, I'll quit.

And then, he does it again.

Really?  Really, Big Boy?  

I grabbed that tall glass of water, and dumped it on him.

He screamed in shock!  And then, we both dissolved into laughter. (I know.  I'm brave, aren't I?)

Me: I warned you!

Him:  That’s cold! Babe, I told you I was sorry! (he’s laughing, trying to move wet covers.  Soooo glad he's laughing! Looking back, I still can’t believe I did it!)

It’s never boring around here!

Life Bites

Last night, we went to dinner with friends to the Garlic Press, an upscale eatery not far from our house. Gary and Kim, ThatManILove and Janie.

The food was delicious.  The company, delightful.

Just to give you a little background, we entertain clients here almost exclusively.

We have an assigned waiter (through no negotiation on our part - we like him, he likes us) named Joey.

And Joey? Knows our drill.

We get the ticket, every time.  No ifs, ands, or buts.

Sometimes, I get out my credit card, and pass it to him.

We were having so much fun tonight, I missed doing that.

So, when Joey brought our ticket, he placed it between ThatManILove and Gary.

Immediately, a scrabble for the ticket ensued.

ThatManILove had his hand on it, and Gary had his hand on it.

Push, pull, push, pull, tug of war, and poof.  It was over before it started.

Gary ended up with it.

But mostly, because he tried to bite the hand of ThatManILove...who jerked his hand back, then looked at me in shock and said, “He almost bit my hand!  I felt his teeth graze my skin!”

I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in a while!

It’s never boring around here!

It's Not Me, Honey, I Promise!

I was awakened this morning by the strangest sound.

Immediately, Zanna the Wonderdog was awakened and starts growling.

Next?  ThatManILove awakes.

“Jaannnnnniiiieeeeee. Please!” he scolds.

Me:  “What?”

Him:  “That noise!!!  Turn it off?  What is that?  What are you DOING?”

Me:  “Babe...it’s not me. That sound is cats. And if I'm not mistaken, I believe they might be…mating. Yeah, I think.”

Him:  “What? Are you serious?!!”

Me:  "Yes."  Unsaid: I know this because, one time when we were trying to call up coyotes, we used a soundtrack of that very thing to draw the varmints in.  Except it didn't work.  Because I was laughing too hard.  Coyote Hunting 101? Failed.

Zanna is barking in her kennel, going crazy.  I try to lay in bed, giving the cats, those wanton pets of some neighbor, the benefit of the doubt that they have heard Zanna barking...and subliminally, even while doing the dirty, know their lives might be in danger.

The cats finally cease their crazy howling and yowling.  I've bought them enough time that now, they’re probably kicked back on the windowsill, smoking a cigarette.

I wait about ten minutes longer, giving Zanna time to calm down.  I finally roll out of the sack, and let Zanna out to do her thing.

No cats. Thank God.

Morning drama?  Over.

I asked ThatManILove why he blamed me when he woke up.  He said, “I thought you were facebooking and happened upon some strange video.”  Ha!  I don’t think so, honey!!

It’s never boring around here.

You, Too, May Garner Wisdom As You Sleep

I woke up my husband last night, gently trying to pry the remote controls from his hand...as he lightly snored.

He looked at me.

“Babe.  Turn it off,” I said.  “You’re sleeping. And snoring.”

“What you don’t know, honey, and don’t understand,” said ThatManILove, “is that even while sleeping, I am still learning, from such shows as Storage Wars.  I listen in my sleep, and store up information in my brain.  And that’s what makes me such an intelligent man.”

I smiled at him, shaking my head.  He slyly smiled back at me, as he turned over on his side.

“And, Babe?  You don't have to tell anyone that’s why I’m so intelligent. They don’t need to know everything.”

He cracks me up. 

It’s never boring around here.