Monday, February 4, 2013

Outback Networks Their Answering Machines? What D'ya Say, Mate?

The other night, I called Outback to place a “takeaway” order.

The recording, after going through so much sales spiel, said the restaurant was closed.

It’s Tuesday night.  I know that’s not right.  Outback is our takeaway place of choice.  You can eat pretty healthy there.
Salad, veggies, split a steak and we're good.  And I dang sure know their schedules.

So, I drive up there.

I park in the “takeaway” parking spaces.  There are no cars in the spaces.  Zero.  Weirdness.  You usually have to wait for a takeaway ordering car to move so you can park. It's a great restaurant, with great take-out food.

I wait a minute, and decide to write down my order, and take it in.

I walk in to the order station.  There's a customer standing there, one that's a polo player.  Or polo horse owner, anyway. I can't remember his name, but I've met him.  I say hello.

I tell the young lady working, “I tried to call in, but your machine says you’re closed.”

She says, “Yes, I know.”

Me:  “You know?”
Her:  “Well, our manager knows.  He doesn’t know how to fix it.”
Me:  “Really?”
Her:  “Yes.  It’s going on at Outbacks all over the country.”
Me:  “Really?”
Her:  “Yes.  Our answering machines are all networked, so when one Outback is closed, they’re all messed up - the machines all say they're closed.”
Me:  “Really?”

This customer, I'll call him Mr. Polo, standing beside me, is shaking his head “Yes.”  Like he knows, too. Or, maybe, he’s heard the drill, already.

Me:  “You know, I don’t think that’s the case.”
Her:  “Why not?”
Me:  “Because your answering machine notes that this is the Loop 250 location.”

Her:  “What?”
Me:  “Your answering machine says this is the Loop 250 location of Outback, in Midland, Texas.”

Her:  speechless
Mr. Polo:  Looks at me, nodding “Yes.”  Again.
Me:  “You might want to let your manager know that.  Okay?”  

I sweetly give her my hand-written order, smile, and go to the car to wait.  

I’ve still not figured out what the heck Mr. Polo knew that I didn’t.

And I don't think anyone spit in our food.

Or that's my story anyway - and I'm sticking to it, Mate.


  1. Ha! Great story- and hopefully they will get it fixed. They do serve delicious food there, don't they?

  2. The local store answers the phone, welcomes you to their location and seamlessly changes to the nationwide message? Silly and useless as tits on a Nun.

  3. As long as you got your food, even with a wait.

  4. Oh no she totally spit on your food. Not for the reason you think, however, but because when one employee at an Outback spits in someone's food they ALL have to do it.


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