Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Gascrapola Blues

I took my Sequoia in for an oil change.

It was time.

Truth up, probably a wee bit past time.

The check engine light was on, y’all.

And that means, ya know, it was time.  I mean, I use Mobil 1 synthetic oil or the Toyota equivalent thereof, so it supposedly lasts longer, and is better for your engine.  So I can drive longer.  Like 10,000 miles.

“But I would walk 5,000 miles. And I would walk 5,000 more. Just to be the woman who walked ten thousand miles…”

Okay, a little plagiarism and exaggeration, plus some lyric changing, right?

So, I dropped it by ye local Toyota house, wherein the oil was changed.  And then Jeff, the service manager, came over to the couch, leaned down, touched my shoulder, and said, (wait for it), “Janie.”

“Yes, Jeff?”  I said.

“Janie, we got the oil changed, and the tires rotated, and you’re all good there.  But you have a check engine light on.”

“Jeff, I know.  That’s why I brought it in.”

“Janie, that light has nothing to do with your oil change.”

Whatttttttttttt?  Where is my Young Living Peace & Calming, because I can feel it coming….

Jeff says, “But we can put it on the analyzer, it takes about an hour, costs $100, and we’ll figure out what’s going on.”

“I have the extended warranty, Jeff.”

“Janie, the cost of the analyzer isn’t covered by the warranty, but let’s just see what’s happening, okay?”  (Seriously, this guy should be selling cars, not working in service, but that’s probably where they make the big bucks, in service...wonder if he gets a commission?  Wonder if they need new help?  Because I'm an up-selling machine!

And WHOOOOOSH, a cool hundred is vaccuumed out of my account. I swear, I walk through the door, some marketing expert looks my way, and sees $$$ - a new stream of revenue - even if they have to make something up!

I call one of my coworkers, she comes to get me, and I go to my office, leaving my truck in their capable, albeit costly, hands.

A couple of hours later, Jeff calls me.

“Janie, we found the problem.  You’re not screwing your gas cap on tight enough after you fill up your truck, and vapors are leaking, and the sensor is going off.”

“PARDON ME?  CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?” I say in my sweetest voice.

Did I tell y’all this is my 3rd – third – 1,2,3 – Sequoia?  They’ve not changed one stinking thing about these trucks since 2008?  And I’ve never had this happen?

People.  I know how to fill up my own truck.  I do it all.the.time. And I know how to screw on the freaking gas cap.


Jeff tells me this happens all.the.time.

I said, “Do I need a new gas cap?  Is this a recall?  Dude, this is my 3rd Sequoia.  I know how to put my gas cap back on.  Are you having problems with the gas caps on the 2015 Sequoias?”

No, no!  No, not at all, he assures me (To the tune of $223.) But if it happens again, I’m to come in and buy a Toyota gas cap, because the sensor won’t work otherwise.

But, of course.   Stress Away to the rescue.  C'mon, now.

Did you think anything else would happen?  

Welcome to Mi Vida Loca!

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