The Little Horse Who Wouldn't

Okay, I admit it.  This story was first published, on my original blog, in 2009.  But it is so funny, it's worth publishing again.  So, here ya go...

This morning, my phone rang. It was Elder Son, though I could barely understand him.

ES: Mom.

Me: Yeah, babe?

ES: Mom, I had to ...call you. (He’s hesitating, sounds like he’s crying.)

Me: What’s up? Is SOMETHING WRONG????

(I can hear all this snuffling, and scuffing around, and some type of weird guttural noise.)

ES: Jason and I are having to load these little...(more snuffling, weird sounds) miniature horses that Jason’s granddad bought for Jason’s kids at the livestock auction, and...and...(mumbles off into nowhere, and I can hear him laughing and trying to catch his breath.)

(I can hear Jason laughing out loud.)

Me: What? What's going on?

ES: Well, Mom, it’s just that.....(fades into laughter again. He finally composes himself)...we got all the horses loaded except for...(and off he goes again) except for this (Jason laughing his butt off in the background)

Me: (I start laughing, too.) Tell me! Use your words! Finish your sentence!

Now, I ask you, how stupid is that,  that I start laughing? I can’t even see them, I don’t even know what’s happening. But I can only imagine. Jason isn’t a tall guy, but Elder Son is one tall lean bean. And a  miniature horse, much less 7 or 8 of them? Just the visuals are funny!

Me: Elder Son! Finish, please?

ES: Mom...I can’t....it’s just that, I’m really trying...okay, give me a second....okay....we’ve been trying...trying to...(and he dissolves into man giggles again.)

I just sit there, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s going to be good. It’s absolutely positively gonna be one of those “worth the wait” ones. So, I wait.

He finally calms down a little bit.

ES: Mom, we’ve got all these teeny horses loaded in this honking huge trailer, (and they're laughing again, they’re losing their voices)...(they finally catch their breath and ES resumes) except for (bustin’ gut laughs now) the little stallion. (And he cracks up again.)

Me: The what?

ES: The stud miniature horse, Mom. He’s a stubborn little &*O(^)%(&.

Me: Oh, Lordy, me (I really started laughing now)!

ES: Oh, Mom, we are so frustrated. We tried to herd him up with the rest of the horses. He’d get halfway up the ramp, which is really short to the ground, then fall off. He’d just tip over. He’s really fat. We’d start again - he’d back down the ramp. He did not want to go. Then, we tried to lead him up. No go. Then, I led and Jase pushed. That didn’t work. So, Jase led, and I pushed. (Laughter. Then escalating laughter.) That didn’t work, either.

And now, Mom, the horse is mad. He’s snorting at us and pawing at us - it is so funny, the little thing! (Uncontrollable laughing from both he and Jase.)

(By now, tears are running down my face and I’m having trouble breathing!)

And then, Mom....(giggles)....I finally got so frustrated I tried to pick the little b*st*rd up and throw him in the trailer. (huge laughter.)

Me: What? You tried to pick him up?

ES: Yessssssssss...(fades into sputters and they’re off again, laughing hard!.)

Me: Did it work?

ES: Hell, no, Mom, it didn’t work (and they crack up into laughter again), he weighs 400 pounds and he was thrashing around and trying to get away!

Me: Oh, Lordy.

ES: I gotta go, Mom, we gotta figure this out, I just had to call you.

And he hangs up laughing.

I talked to him this morning. They finally got the little stud horse loaded into the trailer. Elder Son and Jason physically picked up the horse, together, and stuffed him in the trailer.

Elder Son is still laughing.

Me, too!

Music Makes Our World Go Round

Are your memories triggered by anything special?

Music, perhaps?

I love music.  My mom instilled a love of music in all of us.  She couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, but she loved music, and made sure we did, as well.

So many milestones are marked with music…

I’m glad both ThatManILove and I passed our love of music on to our sons. 

Elder Son will send me a text, like this one….and it will trigger a memory of us, driving down the road and singing.

Name that tune.  His memory for lyrics slay me.  He's amazing.

I won’t ever forget our music-infused road miles.  I treasure those moments.

As a blended family, we've enjoyed some cool music moments as adults - like traveling to Lenox, MA for a James Taylor concert.  Traveling to Phoenix, AZ, for a Travis Tritt/Marty Stuart acoustic concert at the Centennial Theatre.

Beautiful times with our young men.

I wouldn't ever trade for those times, and I'll treasure them forever.

The Blessing of Sons

The weekend is over, and I’m trying to think up blogging topics.  Instead, I’m thinking about the blessing that our boys are.

Younger Son just left our house, headed back to his house.  Elder Son is roping somewhere around San Antonio.

I miss them both.

Over the last 15 years, our blended family has experienced seasons of laughter, togetherness, and celebration.  We have also experienced estrangement, lack of communication, seasons of agony and worry and despair.  We’re just like any other family in those areas.  Thank God the good times outweigh the bad, and Love?  Love heals.

Love. Heals.

So, today, I’m thankful that we’re all in communication.  Thankful that our sons know, without a shadow of a doubt, that we love them unconditionally.  And that we will always love them and always, always, always, be their biggest fans.

So, with that being said, I’d like to say to them:

As y’all go about your respective endeavors today, remember this: We Love You.  We love each of you individually, and we love you both. We are thankful you have become brothers, and that you love each other.  We are thankful for each of you, as our sons, and as each of you, as men.

Continue to do what you do, as always, with excellence.  We are here, cheering you both on.  

Cleaning Up and Cleaning Out....Part 2 - Custom Fit Hearing Protection, V.3 (or 4. Or 5. Or Heck, Who Knows?)

So, y’all know, by now, I spent part of last weekend cleaning, ditching, packing, giving away and mailing unwanted goods.

I last shot my shotgun at the AADE DFW Sporting Clay Shoot at the Dallas Gun Club in August.    I love going there, it’s a good shoot, and the custom fit hearing protection people are always there, ready and willing to take your hard-earned $$$ and fill your ears full of funky colored wax (you get to choose your colors) and create, just for you, your own special version of custom-fit hearing protection.

Best thing since Blue Bell Cookies N Cream Ice Cream, I’m telling you.

I think I might have ordered my 6th pair, overall, this year.

Pair 1 & 2, probably 10 years ago.  Pair 1, with baffles, for shooting/hunting.  Pair 2, no baffles, for high noise frac jobs.

The only problem with  having multiple pairs is when your son can wear the EXACT same pair of custom fit hearing protection.  They tend to disappear if y'all are on a mom/son shooting date/excursion.  (Oh, Mom.  I wore them by mistake to the team roping that night.)  (What?)

So, back down to Pair 1, muy pronto.

Next year, at a shoot, I ordered another set.  Then, later that year, one side fell off the keeper string while hunting.  Or, heck, you make up the story. I'll believe it, I promise.

Anyway, somehow I again ended up with ONE pair.  And at the AADE DFW shoot this year, post shooting our rotation, we were running around.  Went to Bass Pro.  Because, you know, we don't have one of them thair fancy stores here in the West of Texas.  Got back out to the range.  All of a sudden, I’d lost 1/2 my hearing protection.  I felt like a bad fishing trip...you know, like when you pull that beautiful taut line out of the water and...there's nothing on that hook?  Yeah.   Me.

So, I trucked over to the trailer, and did the “Please, please, pack my ears full of that cute purple and pink wax, and I’d like a purple string, please sir.  I’ll pay you to do that.”

Followed by 7 minutes of looking stupid, sitting in a chair, trying to figure out if everyone around you is talking TO you, or ABOUT you, or really doesn’t even give a flip that you’re sitting there looking super goofy.

All this story to preface another.  Lordy.

So.  Back to the closet, this weekend,  the one closet where years of purses are stacked to the max.  One of my helpers says, “You gonna attack those purses?  Because I won’t go buy one if you have one I like that you no longer want.”  Or some wheedling whining hopeful remark like that.

So, I give her a look, and dove in.

I go through each purse.  I dig out money, dental floss (unused), combs, Jane Iredale lip gloss (now that, people saved me some bucks!), and of all things, a set of custom fit hearing protection.  Just rolled up, not in its special little case, just sitting in a purse.  In the zipper part.  You know, for protection.

ChaCHING!!!!

So excited!

They look relatively new, too!

So, now, in this fall of 2013, I’m ahead 3.5 pairs.

Don’t even ask.

I’m HAPPY, people.  Happy! Happy! Happy!

Huh?

What did you say?

The Boy and Reg

Thought I'd post some really neat pics of Brody's new Aussie pup,  Reginald.  Well, his real registered name  is LaReginald Eugene Jackson-Freeman-Snipes.  Don't ask, I don't have a clue.  We were at the USTRC roping in Abilene.


Brody calls him "Reg".

Reg was sitting in the stands with us.  When
he saw Brody, he jumped down and ran to the fence.

Totally happy when he's with his Brody.

Teaching him to ride on the saddle.

And to jump into his arms.

Three happy, happy beings.

Happy trails!

Mattress Sandwich

Bear with me as I post another rerun from early 2010 in my seemingly eternal quest to get the funny stuff moved over to the new blog:

Elder Son was in the area, roping with friends, and jumped truck at Lubbock.  So, Thursday night found us picking him up there, and bringing him home for the weekend.  We tarried too long, and got home to Midland around midnight.  Then we picked up a bit for the housecleaners, and went to bed.

Unbeknownst to me, ThatManILove had gone on a cleaning of the bedroom spree earlier that day.  Our bed - a Big Huge California King Sleigh Bed - was pulled out from the wall. I commented on such, and TMIL confessed to tackling the dust demons under and behind the bed.  (Such things are obviously beyond our house cleaners, but I digress.)

We pushed the bed back up against the wall, and got in bed.  Immediately, Zack the Wonderdog jumps in the bed, and demands to be “under his blankie.”  (Which is, by the way, a blanket on top of our comforter.)  This action places him right around where my knees go in the bed.  

And, voila!  Zack snuggles down in the bed, deep mooooaaaannnns of delight, and immediately starts snoring.

ThatManILove looks at me, and says, “Need me to move Zack?”  I tell him no, that I’ll move over closer to him.  I snuggle up to him for a second, then tell him, “Wait.  This isn’t going to work.  I have to be able to stick my foot out of the bed if it gets warm.”

(I know.  Don’t even say it.  That’s what hormones do to you when you’re my age.)

So, I skooch back over to my side of the bed, and we move Zack to the middle.  He never wakes up.  We lay back down.

And immediately hear this weird deep moaning sound.  Loud.  Louder. And then the moan escalates, both in volume and up an octave or two.  We’re looking at Zack, then realizing it’s not him, at each other.  I’ve got chill bumps on my arms.  Do we have a freakin’ ghost? Is Zanna having a bad dream?  Oh, Lord!  Is the air conditioner kicking the bucket?   (You’d be amazed at the thoughts that shoot through your brain in a second or two)

And then...

BAMMMMMMM!  CRASH!HHH!  BOOM!

The.

Bed.

Craters.

And all three of us - ThatManILove, Zack, and myself - all roll into a Deep V that now suffices for our top mattress.

I immediately start giggling.  ThatManILove - cussing.  

And Zack?  Still snuffling and snoring away.  He doesn’t even wake up.

Thank God Elder Son was around.  We have one of those Denver Mattresses, and baby, a California King top mattress ain’t light.

We move the upper mattress to determine the extent of the damage.  Guess what supports a California King Denver Mattress, under the twin box springs?

Three 2X2 slats.  Screwed into the frame.  And attached to each of them, a  3X3 leg. Two of which had bent when ThatManILove went into his cleaning frenzy,  causing the bed to lose support and the slats to break in half.

We wedged them back up, supported them (with all those books I’ve promised you I’d give away on my blog), put the mattress back on and ThatManILove went back to sleep.

That was a miracle in itself, that he could sleep through my laughter and snorts - but I finally quit laughing long enough to go to sleep.

Elder Son Follies

This was previously posted in August 2009, but is so funny, it wins the move to the new blog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning, my phone rang.   It was Elder Son, though I could barely understand him.

ES:  Mom.

Me:  Yeah, babe?

ES:  Mom, I had to ...call you.  (He’s hesitating, sounds like he’s crying.)

Me:  What’s up? Is SOMETHING WRONG???? 

(I can hear all this snuffling, and scuffing around, and some type of weird guttural noise.)

ES:  Jason and I are having to load these little...(more snuffling, weird sounds)  miniature horses that Jason’s granddad bought for Jason’s kids at the livestock auction, and...and...(mumbles off into nowhere, and I can hear him laughing and trying to catch his breath.)

(I can hear Jason laughing out loud.)

Me:  What?  What’s going on?

ES:  Well, Mom, it’s just that.....(fades into laughter again.  He finally composes himself)...we got all the horses loaded except for...(and off he goes again) except for this  (Jason laughing his butt off in the background)...

Me:  (I start laughing, too.)  Tell me!  Finish your sentence!

(Now, I ask you, how stupid is that, that I start laughing?  I can’t even see them, I don’t even know what’s happening.  But I can imagine.  Jason isn’t a tall guy, but Elder Son tops out at 6’4”...one tall lean bean.  And a miniature horse, much less 7-8 of them?  Just the visuals are funny!)

Me:  Elder Son!  Finish, please?

ES:  Mom....I can’t....it’s just that, I’m really trying...okay, give me a second....okay....we’ve been trying...trying to...(and he dissolves into man giggles again.)

I just sit there, grinning like a cheshire cat.  I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s going to be good.  It’s gonna be one of those worth the wait ones. I wait.

He finally calms down a little bit.

ES:  Mom, we’ve got all these teeny horses loaded in this honking huge trailer, (screaming deep laughter from Jase, which further kicks off both Elder Son and Jase, you can tell this laughing’s been going on a while, they’re losing their voices)...(they finally catch their breath and ES resumes)  except for (bustin’ gut laughs now)  the little stallion.  (And he cracks up again.)

Me:  The what?

ES:  The stud miniature horse, Mom.  He’s a stubborn little &*O(^)%(&.

Me:  Oh, Lordy me!(I really started laughing now.)

ES:  Oh, Mom, we are so frustrated.  We tried to herd him up with the rest of the horses.   He’d get halfway up the ramp, which is really short, then fall off.  He’d just tip over.  He’s really fat.  We’d start again - he’d back down the ramp.   He did not want to go.   Then, we tried to lead him up.  No go. Then, I led and Jase pushed.  That didn’t work.  So,  Jase led, and I pushed.  (Laughter.  Then escalating laughter.) That didn’t work, either. 

And now, Mom, the horse is mad.  He’s snorting at us and pawing at us like a bull.  It is so funny!  (Uncontrollable laughing from both he and Jase.)

(By now, tears are running down my face and I’m having trouble breathing!)

 And then, Mom....(giggles)....I finally got so frustrated I tried to pick the little b*st*rd up and throw him in the trailer. (huge laughter.)

Me:  What?  You tried to pick him up?

ES:  Yessssssssss...(fades into sputters and they’re off again, laughing hard!.)

Me:  Did it work?

ES:   Hell, no, Mom, it didn’t work (and they crack up into laughter again), he weighs 400 pounds and he was thrashing around and trying to get away!

Me:  Oh, Lordy.

ES:  I gotta go, Mom, we gotta figure this out, I just had to call you.

And he hangs up laughing.

I talked to him this morning.  They finally got the stud horse loaded into the trailer. How, you ask?

Elder Son and Jason physically picked up the horse, together, and stuffed him in the trailer.

Elder Son is still laughing.

And so am I!