Monday, October 14, 2013

Quack Quack Ducks Ducks SeCURRRRity!

Friday night, a bunch of us planned to go to the Anjelah Johnson comedy show at the Wagner Noel.

We were to meet at Clear Springs Cafe at 5:45 pm. 

First, I had to get all my ducks in a row*.  I had 10.  My brother had 6.  Between us, we had bought 16 tickets to the show, in order to take customers. Eight, and eight.  Due to last minute changes, we were scrambling to fill the tickets, and so I ended up with more ducks!

I called Clear Springs earlier in the day to make a reservation for 16 people. 

Guess what?  Clear Springs? They don’t take reservations.

I utilized my wheedling, crying, snot-slinging skills and voila!  Okay, Janie, SHUT UP!  "We’ll save you a table, it shouldn't be a problem at all."

Heading out, I decided to call the restaurant to tell them I was running late.  You know, being a good planner, and all.  I know plans sometimes run amok, and didn't want them to suffer.

“Ma’am?  Are you telling me you have a take out order?"

Me:  "Pardon me?"

I go through it all again.

"Well, ma'am, I hate to inform you, but we don’t take reservations.”

Mild Janie freak out.

I talk them back into reserving me the table, tell them I’ll be there in minutes, and hang up the phone.

Then I realize...I’ve miscounted.  I call back, take the number to 12, because two couples are meeting us at the venue. I call Clear Springs and move it to 12. Then I count again, and somehow get back to 16.  I have another brain wave.  I call back.  Clear Springs?  Well, now, they’re saints.  They readjust the table.

ThatManILove is sitting in the passenger seat of my truck, slowly shaking his head and rolling his eyes...yeah.  I see you, TMIL.

And then, about three minutes later, I get this text.   From my brother, Scott, who has beat me to the restaurant, and is waiting on all his ducks...and obviously, mine, too.

Just so you know, this is how that picture really looked.  And there were, seriously, 50+ people standing in the foyer looking at this table like freaking vultures and throwing bad heebiejeebievoodoocrap at Scott.  I swear, I could hear the theme from Jason as I walked through that mumbling mass of humanity.

So, we go sit down.  And then I start counting again.  My brain calms and kicks back into gear. And I truly remember, 4 of the ducks are meeting us at the venue.  Scott tells me 2 more ducks are meeting us at the venue.  And while we're counting our little webbed feet, another duck calls and cancels.

Thank God the waitress is standing right there.

And voila!  We make her the queen of the hour by taking our table down to ~10. 

She's smiling.

And the hostess is smiling.

The crowd of ~50 starts breathing again.

And about that time, our ducks start walking in.

The karma flow turns to a happy pink and orange and blue and green.  And that really really cool color of indigo-y violet.  You know.

Okay, I just made that up.  I have no freakin' idea what I'm talking about.  Does karma even have a color?

But the place got happy.  All us ducks were in a row and snaggin' down some onion rings and quacking away.

I wrote all this to say...I love my brother's sense of humor.  

I think God put us together as bro and sis for a purpose...and as soon as I figure that out, I'll let ya know.  Anyway, I love you, Scott!  Hope we get to hang out like this for years to come!

And Anjelah?  She made us laugh so hard, I cried.  She is one funny chica.


*Euphemism for getting your proverbial stuff together


  1. No wonder I had to wait an hour for a table!

  2. Sounds just ducky to me!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!


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