Gentlemen readers: This never happens to y’all, so if you wanna skip this, I’m good with it. Well, now wait a minute. I’m SORTA good with it. Anyway...
Yesterday was my regular monthly appointment for the royal “highlighting and trim” at Joe James Salon and Day Spa.
Some “As The Drill Bit Turns” (Janie-ism for “drama”) had gone down prior to my arrival, so everything felt a bit tilted. Turns out two stylists jetted to do their own gig, and everybody was a little upset. I don’t blame them for being upset, it’s like a family in that salon, where everybody loves everybody. It’s a really fun place to go, unlike any other place I’ve ever gone. And, though I hate to see my friends upset, I had this evil thought cross my mind, “Well, maybe there’s enough drama that I won’t get caught.” (Oh, yeah. Always looking for the advantage in the moment, that’s calculating me. Like I have any extra brain cells for calculating anything.)
Yup. Notice I said “monthly” appointment? Every 4 weeks, people. Like that freakin'
monthly woman's cycle tick-tock clockwork, baby, I’m in that chair, and Joe James Camarillo is performing his magic. (God knows I and my hair need every bit of help we can get!)
So on Friday, when my appointment was but FIVE (5) (onetwothreefourfive) (FridaySaturdaySundayMondayTuesday) short days away, I just HAD to do it. I couldn’t stand it one more minute.
Because I couldn’t see for crap. And when Janie can't see, Janie ain't happy.
I cut my bangs. My own bad self.
I was a very happy girl. I even put that little slant on them that Joe James does. And by golly, I could see again. I slam-dunked it, I did so well! Cosmetology, Smosmetology. I don't need no freakin' license to do hair! My hair was looking GOOD in the NEIGHBORHOOD. (Yeah, unfortunately, the very same neighborhood as Joe James’ Salon.)
Speaking of the salon, back to it. The story, I mean. The one that happens in the salon.
Juri sections off my hair, doesn’t say a word, and Joe James puts the color to it. He doesn’t say anything. I’m starting to breathe evenly now. I wait my requisite 25 minutes, and voila, I’m swooped to the shampoo chair. I’m so relaxed I nearly fall asleep. And then, it’s time for the cut, so back to THE chair.
Joe James is cutting, snipping, measuring, snipping, chipping, and then, (wait for it) he says....
“Annnnndddd...Someone’s been trimming their bangs.”
Juri cracks up, and I bust out laughing. I would have buried my face in my hands, but people! He's wielding scissors - and a stern but loving look on his face.
“Dang, Joe James, I thought I’d gotten away with it - I just did it this once!”
Juri, laughing, said, “I saw it when I sectioned off your hair, but I thought “I’m not gonna throw Janie under the bus.””
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. Juri is way tickled. Joe James? Smiling, but still seriously cutting my hair.
Joe James: “Girl, I started to cut your bangs diagonally and there was nothing left to cut!”
I said, “Y’all shut it, I’ll be back in next week and you can trim them up. It was an EMERGENCY! EEEEE-MERGENCY!! I called and tried to get in! I tried! I did!”
Joe James said, “Yes, you did.”
I said, “I know, I just should have asked y’all to trim my bangs, huh?”
Everybody laughed. I’m not yet sure, but I think they’re gonna let me back in the door.
I can just drive by that salon and I crack up laughing. And...I hope my bangs grow out quickly.
It’s never boring around here!